If mayonnaise were currency, these guys could fund the bailout.

Had a bad experience with a sandwich and a rubber glove.

My children loved it when they were younger, but now they have taste buds.

All the major food groups represented: salt, fat and carbs.

Noisier than the engine room on a tramp freighter.

Service blows harder than a Kansas tornado.

Low-end burgers in a world of Formica.

They use so much cornstarch that the state of Iowa should erect a monument to them.

Usually dreadful, sometimes rises to awful.

The story of my last visit had a big dead bug in the punch line.

Their cheese has never met a cow, nor been in the same room as one.

Looks like the kitchen staff is on a prison work-release program.

Food doesn't taste much better than the facilities smell.

Bad pizza, loud noise, stupid games and every child under eight wants to go there.

Never an extra charge for that strand of hair in your tuna melt.

Slowest fast food anywhere.

Eleven herbs and spices but eight of them are salt.

Good morning heartburn.

They might as well fry the drinks – everything else is prepared that way.

A wine list straight from 7-Eleven.

Steaks as tough as a longshoreman.

A childhood pleasure, an adult nightmare.

Where everybody knows your name because everyone is named Bubba.

Mediocrity would be a step up for this chain.

A blight on the suburban landscape.

If the food doesn't kill you the noise will.

Who cares about healthy options when you are seven years old?

I got a band-aid in an onion ring there 40 years ago.

Are those fruit toppings or melted crayons?

I tend to lose my enthusiasm as the grease begins to run down my arm.

Ground zero for the blandification of America.

They don't have chefs, they have food warmers.

Avoid this restaurant like the plague, which you might be able to catch at a few of its locations.

My concept of what hell must be like.

Another choice for truly desperate times.