Zagat Survey Discussions

By Olga Boikess

Hospitality pros weigh in on what diners can do to get five-star treatment

Sure, the food has to be good, but as every diner knows, hospitality is the name of the game for restaurateurs aiming to stand out from the crowd and deliver a truly rave-worthy experience. What you might not realize, however, is that the customer can have a lot of influence over the quality of the service. Dining out is like "a dance – you [the customer] have to be a partner," observes Patrick O'Connell, owner of the legendary Inn at Little Washington, rated No. 1 for Service in our most recent DC-area Survey.

We asked O'Connell and four other restaurateurs well-schooled in the art of hospitality – Kevin Brown, president of Chicago-based Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises (which operates the likes of Ambria, Everest and Tru, among others); Richard Drapkin, a partner in Los Angeles' hyper-busy Grace and BLD; Danny Meyer, founder of some of NYC's most popular dining rooms including Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Cafe (and author of Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business); and Christopher Myers, owner-host of Boston's Radius, Great Bay and Via Matta – for their advice on what diners can do to hold up their end of the service dance.

ZS: What are the most important things a customer can do to get the best service?

Meyer: "Realize that we will make unintentional mistakes... Judge us by the spirit of hospitality with which we overcome that mistake and be direct about bringing it to our attention in a timely fashion."

Drapkin: "Let us know exactly what you want – [preferably] before you walk in the door. Tell the reservationist if it's business, a birthday, a family function."

Myers: "Do your homework. Check out the Web site. Look at menus. Say 'we're going to the theater – can we order ahead?' Ask in a gracious way: 'Is that possible?'"

Brown: "Explain and articulate your needs so that we know what you want. How not to get great service? Be curt, adversarial or abusive."

O'Connell: "Smile. Make a connection. Tell someone how much you are looking forward to the meal. Have some trust; most people [in the business] are trying to make you happy."

ZS: Suppose a problem occurs but the customer is hosting important clients or relatives and doesn't want to make a fuss or make guests uncomfortable. What should he or she do? Can a manager rescue the situation without alerting guests?

Brown: "In a busy place, the manager can't always keep an eye on the timing of every table...the kitchen can be overwhelmed. If the [customer] goes directly to the manager, he can expedite – or reprioritize the kitchen."

O'Connell: "Excuse yourself from the table... Be very clear about what isn't working and say what you want to happen – [to switch staff, say] 'it's not the right chemistry.'"

Myers: "An intuitive server alerts the manager who can ask the [customer] to leave the table 'to take a call.'... [Or the host can simply] call the server over and say 'we didn't mention that we need to be at the airport in 45 minutes.'"

Meyer: "It's not a big deal to bring up a problem in front of guests – be direct: 'My guest ordered steak medium rare and wondered if you would do another one for her.'"

Drapkin: "A squeaky wheel will get attention but not by acting angry, whistling, clicking fingers, standing up. Be gracious and go to a person who can accomplish [the desired result]."

ZS: If you know you have certain needs that may be difficult to meet – you have allergies, you're a picky eater, drafts and noise bother you a lot – what can you do to get the servers on your side from the start?

Myers: "Get involved in a genuine exchange. [And] be open to several ways to fix something – 'do you folks have a wrap [if it's chilly]?'"

Drapkin: "Let the restaurant know [your needs] before you walk in the door. LA is a health-conscious city – [allergies and special food requests] happen all the time. Be straightforward – 'I am allergic to X, Y, Z.'"

Brown: "People don't need an excuse to express what they want to order. There's no need to hide behind [an allergy]."

O'Connell: "Let [the staff] know you can be pleased. If there's a certain table where you got engaged but others are seated there – maybe the restaurant can give you the table for dessert when the other diners leave."

ZS: On the subject of tipping – who should be tipped and when? What about all those old movies where the guy slips the maitre d' or bartender a bill on arrival – is that still happening? With what results?

Drapkin: "[Slipping a manager a bill] does happen and will get their attention. [But] if you are paying dollars up front to get the best service, you're in the wrong place. Patrons should never have to tip management for service."

Meyer: "One tip for the restaurant staff [is the norm]. Exchange business cards with the manager – tell him 'I'd like to call you when I want to return to the restaurant.' Small gifts [to the manager] if you are a regular at a restaurant [can also be appropriate]."

Brown: "You can pre-tip the staff [ahead of an important event]. You never want to be bribing but saying thank you, acknowledging good service."

Myers: "If a manager always seems to do something for you [you can tip him but] a thank-you card is best."

O'Connell: "The era of establishing clout with extravagant tips is behind us. An easier way to get what you want is to demonstrate flexibility. [For example,] promise to eat quickly and give the table 'back' in time for a later reservation."

ZS: What is your pet peeve in terms of customer behavior?

Meyer: "Not saying what you need when you need it in a direct, nonconfrontational manner."

O'Connell: "Not telling us in advance about dietary needs or restrictions – [last-minute instructions] can stretch a restaurant on a really busy night."

Drapkin: "No consideration of others. Loud, boisterous [behavior]. Treating a reservation as a license to spend the evening [when there's a] large number of people waiting at the bar."

Myers: "Never giving us a chance – not saying anything about [a mistake] and then saying the service is no good."

Brown: "How, on occasion, rude a guest can be. If [their] language crosses the line, the conversation is ended on the spot."